Wednesday, December 29, 2010

2010

*Editors Note*: The following writings were found scribbled in crayon, on various scraps of paper, tucked underneath a pile of stuffed animals in the bedroom of Kayla and Megan Vogts. They are presented here, unedited, for posterity.

Jan 2010 (Megan): Still reeling from the implications of late last month. Many grown ups brought us things, which of course isn't unusual, but for some reason they chose to trap them in brightly colored paper. Kayla insists this happened a few months back as well. We played along, but a troubling development.














Kayla stricken with some kind of mysterious disease, resulting in spots all over her face and body. My attempts to find a cure frustrated by constant interference from the parents. Kayla however seems in relatively good spirits, and my research indicated the threat is minor.

Our attempts at communication proving fruitful, yet slow. Talk of certain toys or food are sometimes recognized, but a request for a periodic table of elements has so far been met with only blank stares.

February (Kayla): We continue to explore our surroundings, determining if this domicile is adequate for our needs. So far the facilities seem sufficient; however the laboratory, on first inspection, seems woefully understocked.















We're hopeful the basement may provide a more suitable research environment. Our daily excursions to this "Miss Kelli's" is providing an incredible intelligence opportunity, though, even if the required attire is somewhat confining.














March (Megan): A breakthrough. It turns out the noisy person in the corner of the living room is, in fact, some sort of communication or entertainment device. We have bore witness to the exploits of a girl named "Dora" who seems to be some kind of philanthropist/globe trotter (funding for our research?), and a group of four men known as the "Wiggles", who seem overly concerned with fruit salad for some reason. I have attempted to speak with their leader, Greg, about procuring some computer time in their "Wiggle House", but he so far has not acknowledged my requests. Perhaps his communications are being monitored.















We received some grooming recently, and continue to do what we can to assist the parents in making our surroundings acceptable for our purposes.














May (Kayla): Megan's theory that procuring the parents shoes would allow us to "grow big" proved to be false. Disappointing, but this is part of the scientific process of course. Tomorrow, we will attempt again with their t-shirts.














We continue with our designs. By my calculations, we can have the wind tunnel installed by next month, which will allow us to begin work on our prototypes. Megan believes she can have the reactor online by the end of the year.














June (Megan): Summer has brought an unexpected windfall: a cooling pool! Revising my estimates on the go live date for the reactor by at least a month.















Our anti-gravity experiments, however, have met with mixed results.














Communication with the parents has continued to improve. We can finally make them understand simple sentences, such as "More fruit". Again, however, their understanding proves limited, as a request for an industrial strength diamond drill resulted in a graham cracker. Must remind ourselves that science can afford to be patient.

July (Kayla): A rare recreational opportunity.








The respite was brief, of course, as that fractal generation software wasn't going to program itself. Not yet, anyway.



















Daddy and Mommy left us in the care of Granny and Grandpa for a couple of days. We had high hopes going in, but sadly there was not a copy of the Journal of Applied Physics to be found in the house.

September (Megan): The parents mean well, but honestly...














THEY HUNG IT ON THE FRIDGE! That paper proved P = NP, presents a unified field theory that will one day be the theoretical basis for observing and manipulating the graviton, and identifies several promising theories for describing the effect quantum entanglement might have on current black hole theoretical models, and did they call the Nobel committee? Did they even submit it to a single scientific journal? No, up it goes with a 6 month old shopping list. Nice.



















Diego, how do you deal with stuff like this?

October (Kayla): Once again, we celebrate the anniversary of our birth. It's somewhat depressing to think that we're already 2 years old, and have yet to have a single mathematical theorem named after us, but Megan reminds me that Einstein worked as a patent clerk for several years as well. I suppose we can afford ourselves a little bit of leeway.
















We have decided to take on some interns to train, and to help us around the lab, perform routine experiments, etc. So far they seem to be a bit overwhelmed with the workload, but we're confident we can whip them into shape.














December (Megan): At last my reactor is ready to be brought online. The cold fusion reaction is providing nearly a 500% energy return, and that's even before we introduce the quantum superposition field.














Once again our parents have unwittingly provided us with some key components, including scientific instruments, and a simple yet effective housing structure.































We're confident that if we can achieve a stable petawatt output, the Nobel committee will have no choice but recognize our accomplishments.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Complications



















As Santa pictures go, a pretty good one, no? You'd like to see a smile, but with kids you take what you can get. In fact it might almost be considered perfect, if not for the obvious exclusion in our case.

The story: We procrastinated our Santa visit this year. It was going to happen last weekend, until Jenn got sick and we didn't get organized enough and in time on Sunday to make it happen. This left M-Th of this week to get it done. I got a call from Jenn right before quitting time on Tuesday, and the plan was set. Round up the girls from daycare, meet at home, quick change of clothes, and off to the mall we fly. Knocking on wood panel the whole way, hoping it wasn't too blown out.

"Quick clothes changes" never are quite as quick as you'd like these days, as the girls would either prefer to run around naked, or "do it themselves": their dressing skills documented by Jenn in the previous post, of course. But we still managed to get out the door in respectable time, and headed to Town East. We actually got a parking spot without having to resort to any demolition derby tactics, entered cautiously optimistic, and were buoyed even further when the Santa line did not stretch longer than 3 stores. "We might actually pull this off", my wife and I communicated to each other telepathically.

And then, The Wait. In science you sometimes hear talk of "deep time", the concept of time on a geological/universal scale, millions and even billions of years. As humans with ~100 year lifespans, it takes concerted effort to imagine the vast, ocean-like size of the time periods required to build mountains and stars. One trick that helps in this effort, is to stand in a Santa line with two 2-year old girls at 6:30pm after a full day of daycare. To their credit, they did pretty well for about 3/4 of The Wait, even if they were not too fond of the stroller. And then, right as we got to within view of Santa, in goes the thumb into Kayla's mouth, and down went the head on my shoulder.

On some level I knew what was coming right then, but we were scant moments away, I figured we could still pull it off. But as we arrived at the "You'll be next" entryway, and Kayla was asked if she was ready to sit on Santa's lap, the answer was a definite "No". Even Mommy could not convince her, trying to simply stand her by Santa, or to give her one of the stuffed bears sitting in Santa's makeshift workshop. Tears were flowing, arms outstretched to whatever parent was closest.

Megan, meanwhile, sat right down on Santa's lap like we had given her to Grandpa.

Disappointing, but in retrospect perhaps not that surprising. Bedtime is traditionally between 7 and 7:30, and we had pushed the limits of their endurance not only mentally, but physically by cobbling together a quick "supper" of crackers and breakfast bars. At least it's been good for a blog post.

Off to Canton here in a couple hours, for Christmas with Mom and Dad, and Linda/Shane/Jalen/Jordan, assuming the weather out there is cooperating. Then back tonight for Eve with Ruth, and Day tomorrow with the additions of Karen/Carl/Nathan. Spoiler Alert: I hear tell Santa is going to bring us a toy piano and guitar, some new puzzles, and new crayons/coloring books.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Twins: A Study in Crayola

First up, we have Megan, the Scientist


















Megan is generally the one to ask to color, will color longer, and with greater care and precision, than Kayla. She is more practiced at holding her crayons, and does so "normally" much better than Kayla. She'll take to suggestions (color the shoes) much easier as well, and will see it through. She'll switch colors more often as well, and will color multiple pages.

Then we have Kayla, the Artist:



















Kayla is all about coloring with enthusiasm. She will not keep at it as long as Megan does, but obviously gets her money's worth. Big, looping circles and arcs in rapid succession is typical, as is only a couple of color changes. She's done with this activity in about half the time Megan is typically, usually choosing not to do more than one page.

It's interesting, because their coloring methods are in contrast with what we observe as their normal personalities. Usually Kayla is the "thinker"; generally more even tempered than Megan, generally more relaxed physically, and easier to reason with logically. She's always the first to tire, and almost always goes to bed easier, with minimal fuss. Megan meanwhile is the one more likely to run headlong into your arms...or the corner of the coffee table, the wall, or the sidewalk. She's also much more likely to transform from Good Megan to Evil Megan at the drop of a hat. Megan has, to my knowledge, never willingly slept, and fights any hint of sleep with every fiber of her being.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Flashback

A flashback, to the day our daughters were born, and the days that followed.


Saturday, December 11, 2010

Adventure

The big news this week, at least the past two days, has been sickness, unfortunately. If you follow Jenn on Facebook you already know the story, bear with me.

Thursday night Jenn went to bed early, and I stayed up late playing the new Cataclysm expansion for World of Warcraft reading a very dense and complicated tome of classic literature while weather-stripping all the windows. Girls had gone down at their customary ~7:30pm time, and at one point I heard an aborted cough out of one of them. I needed to sneak in and steal a laundry basket anyway, so went in and checked. I could see Kayla kind of squirming but all seemed well, and I didn't investigate further, for fear of waking them.

Fast forward to 6:20 yesterday next morning, our equally customary weekday wake up time. As soon as I walked into the room I could smell it, and turning on the light confirmed it: Both girls had thrown up in their beds. All over the sheets/blankets/dolls/etc. Aside from the coughing the night before which, in retrospect, was probably the first throw up, we didn't hear a peep out of them all night. Jenn was in the shower, I grabbed them both, stripped off the sleepers, and headed to the bathroom. About 5 minutes into the sponge bath it was clear this wasn't going to cut the mustard, so I started a full bath and tossed them in. Right about that time Jenn came out, she took over the bath while I stripped beds and wiped sick off of various cloth items.

Complicating this medical crisis is the fact that I'm involved with a major software move/upgrade at work this weekend, involving our clinics' EMR systems. It's one of those things that doesn't directly require my involvement (clearly, as I'm writing this on Saturday sitting here in the office), as our vendor is handling all the heavy lifting, but does require my attention should the vendor run into problems. It's a task that HAS to be done by 8am on Monday, and really they'd prefer to have it by 4 or 5 am, because nurses keep odd hours (says the guy who's alarm is set for 4:30am). In short, I wasn't going to be taking off work Friday, so the task fell upon Jenn.

As it turned out, both girls were fine all day, if a little manic, wavering between crabby and hyperactive. They had a short fuse from what I hear. I managed to get home about 6:30 or so, just in time for another bath and bedtime. I haven't called yet to check on things, but I imagine everyone is up by now and well into some breakfast and Nick Jr.

Keeping both girls at home by yourself all day is certainly an experience. It's by no means an impossible task, and both Jenn and I love doing so, but nevertheless it can get pretty hectic. The girls tend to feed off each other, either in their moods or level of activity. They can be sitting quietly, playing with toys or watching TV, then all of the sudden one will jump up and run into the kitchen, and then it's on. Or they'll be in a good mood, then one girl will get mildly scolded for grabbing something off a counter, and all of the sudden both are crabby, and you find yourself looking at the clock, wondering if it's nap time yet.

It ties into something I wonder about a lot: Are we "normal" parents? A day at home with twin 2 year old girls leaves you frazzled...Imagine that. But the doubt creeps into your mind: Am I this frazzled because I'm not as up to the task as I ought to be? Or is it just a natural consequence of having twins? People used to express amazement at "how we did it" when Kayla and Megan were infants, but the truth, as I expressed here I believe, is that having two at that age wasn't really that different than one. Make two bottles instead of one, change two diapers instead of one, get used to a little more crying...it wasn't that big of a difference. But now that our living balls of hunger/poop/screams have gained mobility, independent thought, and indeed, even deviousness, the game has changed from checkers to chess. And not just regular chess: the freaky 3-D kind they had on Star Trek. I knew this would be the way of things of course, but I also wonder if I'm adapting at the necessary rate as well.

It's a problem Jenn and I have struggled with, related to taking the girls to do things as well. It's beyond clear that both girls are Turbo-Powered Knowledge Vaccuums, and like Johnny 5, they need input. Yo Gabba Gabba has a live show that tours the country, and was due to swing through KC sometime in November I believe. When we learned of this some months before hand, we toyed with the idea of taking them up for the show, maybe staying a night, and doing some other kid-friendly activity on the way out of town the next day. Then we began cataloging the realities of such a trip. How long into the 3 hour drive up would the girls reach the "OK I'm done with this car seat" mark? Would we need to budget time for a nap before the show? How are we going to get them down for a nap in an unfamiliar hotel room? When/how are we going to squeeze meals into the schedule? What about the return trip home?

The logistics scared us off that particular trip/idea; perhaps it shouldn't have, but Mommy and Daddy are kind of learning as they go as well. I suppose a lot of the problem is just the age. Did Kayla really understand when I told her to not run off across the street, and she said OK? Or was that the same "OK" she uses when I ask her if she would like to fly to the moon? All part of the process I guess.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Sunday Sunday Sunday

So, you might ask yourself: What is a lazy December Sunday like with twin 2 year old girls?

















Oh, you know, nothing special.